Jersey Shore

So, this is by far the best show on television. I now know both what could bring me to write another blog post as well as what will replace My Antonio as the show that brings the roommates together. So, the reason for the blog post, of course, is to try to track the amazing lines from this show all in one place. I figure I'll just have to keep this thing live while watching each episode. For the first show, I'll have to pull them down from different sites.

Pauly D

I got a f---ing tanning bed in my place, that's how serious I am about being a Guido and living up to that lifestyle.

All the girls are like fish and so we throw out a line and see if we can sink it.

Snickers

My ultimate dream is to move to Jersey, find a juiced, hot, tan guy and live my life.

I'm not going to kiss you, you have throw up breath.

I love the jersey shore. I love being a guidette but I’m not feeling it right now. I’m the princess of Poughkeepsie but here I’m nobody.

My idea man would be Italian, dark, muscles, juicehead guido. If I found that guy, I’d snatch him like that. I wanna bring home guys, it’s hard. Like it shouldn’t be hard but it is hard because it’s like a chore you know.

Me and my friend robbie wanted to watch the sunset. No the sunrise.

The Situation

My abs are so ripped up, I call it 'the situation.

You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody who looks like Rambo, pretty much, without his shirt off?

I don’t think they are going to be ready for this situation. Everyone’s gonna be like “oh shoot, that’s the situation right there.

I wait til the last minute to go shave. I wait til the last minute to put the shirt on cause it feels fresh. These are rules to live by. Shave last minute haircut the day of maybe some tanning and the gym. You gotta get the guido handbook.

JWOWW

I think it's my mission to hook up with the hottest Jersey Guido.

Ronnie

Your bank account can be low, but you always gotta look good — always have to get a new haircut, always gotta wear new sneakers, always gotta look fresh.

You know what time it is? It’s time to get my rhino juice in my SYSSSTem The Rhino juice get the night going. I mean when ever that comes up it’s always a filthy night. It really is. That’s the root of all evil.”

Jolie

I'm a bartender... I do, you know, great things.

Wear a thong bikini if you are going to wear anything at all That’s a little bit more classy you know.

Vinny

I hear the music. I start fist pumpin I start pulling girls up on stage and it’s like now…vinny came out to play.

Sammie

A guidette is somebody who knows how to club it up, takes really good care of themselves, has pretty hair, cakes on makeup, has tan skin, wears the highest heels, pretty much they know how to own it and rock it.

“Lose 5 /ten pounds and we can talk.” -The Situation to Jolie. “Yo I will cut your hair while you are sleeping ok?” -Jolie to The Situation